How to Raise Greatness
Build Systems That Support the Greatest Version of Yourself, and Your Family.
I’m back with new content! Thanks for being patient with me taking the last couple of weeks off to be with our newborn and adjusting to the new rhythms of life. Definitely getting less sleep, but also definitely so much more love. It’s great.
POSITIVE AFFIRMATION
“It’s commendable that we wake up each and every morning, ready to make the most of it and give it an honest effort. I think that’s a rare trait and that’s something we should find comfort in.
Today I appreciate my innate ability to pursue achievement.”
- Johnny T. Nguyen
What if greatness could be achieved without burning yourself out? What if greatness meant building a life where love and achievement grow side by side? This email shares three science-backed strategies for raising kids—and ourselves—to excel without losing what matters most.
I think of the greats like Tiger Woods, the Williams sisters,... but prob not Tonya Harding. Consider this brutal scene from the biopic I, Tonya, where her mom explains her parental style ( please note: explicit language).
Sustainable, enduring productivity doesn’t exactly scream greatness. Rather, most of what I preach is slow, methodical, incremental 1% type improvements. Not exactly sexy stuff.
Upon becoming a father again, I of course want my daughters to grow up great AND immensely loved. Here’s my quick analysis on how to foster that environment.
3 Strategies to Promote Loving Greatness
Strategy #1 - Concerted Cultivation
The term concerted cultivation is credited to Sociologist Annette Lareau, and in her defining book Unequal Childhoods, where she concludes that how the lower class and the middle/upper class raised their children led to significant differences in those respective children’s future success. Research shows kids thrive when parents guide growth—not just leave them to ‘figure it out.’ The trick? Intentional, loving involvement.
In productivity, concerted cultivation still applies to adults. In fact, to master a new skill, we have to be intentional about what that skill is and how to cultivate it. You’re not going to stumble upon greatness without some amount of preparation.
TRY THIS:
List three concrete steps towards your next skill. Maybe check out a library book, schedule a daily practice session, or join an online group. Intentional growth beats random hustle.
Strategy #2 - Structure, Not Surveillance
“Outlier kids don’t need more control. They need containment.
Control tries to change behavior to fit the system.
Containment builds a system that can hold the child’s full range—without collapse, without chaos.” - Woom Talent Center
No one likes a micromanager, but we do need constraints, which have been shown to actually increase productivity and innovation.
So, how can we build a system that promotes our full potential? Well, there are numerous ways to ‘build scaffolding’ to contain ourselves. Consider tactics like:
Dedicating time to morning and evening rituals
Blocking app notifications, digital distractions
Adding friction to reduce bad habits
My current strategy to contain myself is to (gasp) limit TV time. I said limit, not eliminate! Although I could prob squeeze in more TV time, I try to dedicate that time instead to my goals.
TRY THIS:
Replace one activity and convert that time towards a goal. Less Solitaire Cash, more doing.
Strategy #3 - Front-Load Practice
A timely article from Cal Newport, author of bestsellers Deep Work and Slow Productivity, points out the difference between “working hard” (we want this) versus “hard to get through” (we don’t want this).
Newport takes offense to a 20-something’s proclamation that, in order to be great, you have to burn yourself out. The 20-something millionaire wrote about there’s no such thing a work-life balance, so throw that out the window and hustle hard. Newport rightly points out that you don’t have to hate life while pursuing your goal.
I think they’re both onto something. I think the point of working hard up front is noteworthy. When taking on a new challenge, front-loading it with practice will build success later. Concepts like muscle memory, 10,000 hours, and trial and error all contribute to mastery of a skill. The sooner we master it, the sooner we can achieve greater things.
TRY THIS:
Don’t be shy about getting dirty and hands-on with the skill you’re learning. There’s reading and watching, and then there’s doing.
CLOSING THOUGHT
Greatness isn’t built on exhaustion or chaos. By structuring growth, practicing intentionally, and nurturing ourselves and our loved ones, we can build lives worth living—and achievements worth celebrating.
DIVE DEEPER
➩ How Fatherhood Alters Male Biology
➩ Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
Congratulations on your newborn!
Parenting and family advice/wisdom is always needed.
Glad you’re adding to what’s already available.